When you think of battles or wars, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? There was the Trojan war and the most current, Iraq war. Although both are tragedies, there seems to be a war that isn’t spoken about in the history books.
Something that is unspoken when learning about slavery is love. In school, one always learns about hatred and murder but, one is taught to hate something while love is natural. The love that one can give to another is magical. However, if your skin color is right, then you can be loved. During slavery, white people made it seem practically impossible that a White man could love a Black woman. It was as if Black women weren’t worthy enough to be loved. In contrast, secretly, White men did fall in love with their enslaved Black women. However, the feeling of love for something “un-human” created confusion within White men. If you’ve seen 12 years a Slave (a great movie!), then you know the relationship between Patsy (Lupita N’yong) and her slave master. Patsy’s slave master loved her but couldn’t affectionately love her because she was Black. But, no matter how cruel he treated Patsy, his wife saw how much he craved Patsy. One could say that this is where the unconscious battle between White and Black women began. White women knew their husbands would make Black slaves there concubines and Black women knew their husbands carefully watched the master’s wife. Whatever the case may be, something imaginative begun to take over society’s mind.
The battle of who is pretty, who is better, and who is more womanly has been going on between White and Black women for years. However, this is not a direct battle. Most of it is indirect by the society around us. You hear things like “I rather date a White woman because she has less attitude” or ” I love to date Black women because they do have attitude.” In addition, you also hear men say “White women as easy to deal with and will do whatever you say” and “Black women are hard to deal with and are always trying to argue.” Whatever the case may be, a woman should be seen as an individual and not by the stereotypes attached to her skin. If I were a White woman, I would feel offended every time a man thinks I’m better to date because I will be submissive to whatever he says. That’s extremely offensive to say about White women. There complexions do not make them nicer or easier to deal with, there skin tone has nothing to do with who they are and how they will act in relationships. The same thing is said for Black women.
Although some men believe these stereotypes to be true, some women believe these to be equally true. Some Black women have said that “White women have taken all the good Black men.” This statement makes it seem as if there are only a few good Black men in the entire world’s population. If a Black man chooses to date a White woman, that is strictly his choice. Hopefully, he dates her for the right reasons and not because he thinks Black women are too rough. These unconscious assumptions create a battle and leave one winner at the top. That winner would be White women.
The United States Census states that in 2009, 70.5% of Black women weren’t married. In contrast, 43.3% of White women weren’t married. One factor to note is that the age range of the census was 25-29. This data doesn’t prove that Black women are unlikely to get married, it just shows they are married later. From ages 35-39 the percentage of Black women unmarried were 39.2 and the percentage of White women were 13.5. It’s not impossible for Black women to marry but in 2009 the percentage between the 2 races were extremely different. Why is that?
Is it because men do value White women more. Are White women easier to deal with? Or could it be that Black women just don’t married that often? Whatever the case is, why should it matter what color a woman is? Everyone in this world deserves to be loved and this unconscious battle that has been going on for years needs to end. It’s men that need to wise up and realize women are more than just skin and pretty smiles.